Today was my obgyn appt. Well, it was supposed to be for May 22, but I spoke to my Dr on Friday and had one set up for sooner. I had to know something sooner than later.
As you know, we lost Baby Bear Saturday night. I was so dreading this appt. I'm not sure why. Maybe the baby wall? Maybe the pregnant patients? Maybe because I had to wait an extra hour for my appt because my Dr had to deliver someone's baby? -- the last one was hard.
His nurse took my blood pressure and was so excited we were there again, asking me how I was feeling and stuff. I then had to tell her what happened and she said she was so sorry she was treating me like this was a normal ob check up. She gave me tissues and a hug. Thankfully, she told Dr. Groth initially so when I had to tell him, it wasn't AS painful.
He came in and looked genuninely upset. He discussed things, and then had to do the lovely metal speculum to "check things out". Some lingering things were removed -- oh so lovely, I know, and then he did the transvaginal ultrasound. Everything "major" had cleared, good and sad. But, not everything SO I was prescribed some medication to induce uterine cramping to get the rest of the "products of conception" out so I could avoid a d&c. I don't want a d&c. I was also prescribed percocet because the first meds were going to cause a lot of cramping and pain. They did.
As for his advice. A string a bad luck? Maybe. Chromosomal abnormalties? Possibly. This happening to a 24 year old more than once? Not so normal. The fact we have a healthy baby? Good sign. Could it be scarring? Maybe. Do we know anything right now? No.. BUT he is taking a proactive approach to it which I am very optimistic about.
I have an appt in 3 weeks, on June 5th, for a follow up to my miscarriage, I will also have a pap done then, whoop whoop. Haha.
Then I call on the first day of sweet Auntie Flo's return to set up an appt for an hsg. Pretty sure its an hsg. Anyway, radioactive dyes and xrays. This way he can see if I have uterine scarring or if my uterus is now suddenly misshapen for whatever reason.
The day we have all of that done, I am having massive amounts of bloodwork done to test for everything under the sun, from every clotting factor, to a folic acid absorption deficiency, to even having my chromosome panel checked. Garrett will also be having his chromosome panel checked. Just to see if we have something that could give us a higher chance of a bad outcome.
If everything is normal - great. I'll chalk it up to bad luck and/or nature just doing its job, as sometimes unfair as it seems. If things aren't normal and can be fixed - okay, we will do that, and fix what we can, however it can be done. If its bad news and its not advised, or we don't have a high chance of carrying another little one to term - okay, I want to know. I just can't go through something like this again. Oh, to physically hurt in so many ways. Its such a physical pain in my heart.
That is my sweet baby -- and the rest of the world, and even friends, didn't even know about that little life. Its so sad its almost not even recognized. No one will ever love them as I do.
Mentioning my sweet baby's little fingers just made the color drain from both doctor and nurse. He even gave a groaning sound. He said that it was also not common to miscarry a baby at 9 weeks along. It happens, obviously, but not often. Something went wrong.
Then he told me to take some time for me, emotionally, and that no matter what anyone says; I DID lose a baby and to not let anyone rob me of feeling those feelings. He said some don't consider that a baby at that point, but it was. He wants to help. I asked for help. Help is what we need right now, and hopefully it gets us some answers.
Thank you, God, for sending me a Dr that will listen to what I have to say, not give me half hearted answers, and one that isn't gonna make me miscarry another precious baby before he helps me. All I can hope for now, as much as this clinic and Dr have been through with us, that he can deliver one of our babies and he can have a picture of our little one to add to that baby wall. <3
As you know, we lost Baby Bear Saturday night. I was so dreading this appt. I'm not sure why. Maybe the baby wall? Maybe the pregnant patients? Maybe because I had to wait an extra hour for my appt because my Dr had to deliver someone's baby? -- the last one was hard.
His nurse took my blood pressure and was so excited we were there again, asking me how I was feeling and stuff. I then had to tell her what happened and she said she was so sorry she was treating me like this was a normal ob check up. She gave me tissues and a hug. Thankfully, she told Dr. Groth initially so when I had to tell him, it wasn't AS painful.
He came in and looked genuninely upset. He discussed things, and then had to do the lovely metal speculum to "check things out". Some lingering things were removed -- oh so lovely, I know, and then he did the transvaginal ultrasound. Everything "major" had cleared, good and sad. But, not everything SO I was prescribed some medication to induce uterine cramping to get the rest of the "products of conception" out so I could avoid a d&c. I don't want a d&c. I was also prescribed percocet because the first meds were going to cause a lot of cramping and pain. They did.
As for his advice. A string a bad luck? Maybe. Chromosomal abnormalties? Possibly. This happening to a 24 year old more than once? Not so normal. The fact we have a healthy baby? Good sign. Could it be scarring? Maybe. Do we know anything right now? No.. BUT he is taking a proactive approach to it which I am very optimistic about.
I have an appt in 3 weeks, on June 5th, for a follow up to my miscarriage, I will also have a pap done then, whoop whoop. Haha.
Then I call on the first day of sweet Auntie Flo's return to set up an appt for an hsg. Pretty sure its an hsg. Anyway, radioactive dyes and xrays. This way he can see if I have uterine scarring or if my uterus is now suddenly misshapen for whatever reason.
The day we have all of that done, I am having massive amounts of bloodwork done to test for everything under the sun, from every clotting factor, to a folic acid absorption deficiency, to even having my chromosome panel checked. Garrett will also be having his chromosome panel checked. Just to see if we have something that could give us a higher chance of a bad outcome.
If everything is normal - great. I'll chalk it up to bad luck and/or nature just doing its job, as sometimes unfair as it seems. If things aren't normal and can be fixed - okay, we will do that, and fix what we can, however it can be done. If its bad news and its not advised, or we don't have a high chance of carrying another little one to term - okay, I want to know. I just can't go through something like this again. Oh, to physically hurt in so many ways. Its such a physical pain in my heart.
That is my sweet baby -- and the rest of the world, and even friends, didn't even know about that little life. Its so sad its almost not even recognized. No one will ever love them as I do.
Mentioning my sweet baby's little fingers just made the color drain from both doctor and nurse. He even gave a groaning sound. He said that it was also not common to miscarry a baby at 9 weeks along. It happens, obviously, but not often. Something went wrong.
Then he told me to take some time for me, emotionally, and that no matter what anyone says; I DID lose a baby and to not let anyone rob me of feeling those feelings. He said some don't consider that a baby at that point, but it was. He wants to help. I asked for help. Help is what we need right now, and hopefully it gets us some answers.
Thank you, God, for sending me a Dr that will listen to what I have to say, not give me half hearted answers, and one that isn't gonna make me miscarry another precious baby before he helps me. All I can hope for now, as much as this clinic and Dr have been through with us, that he can deliver one of our babies and he can have a picture of our little one to add to that baby wall. <3
When you mentioned fingers to me, that's what brought me to tears. If it's any consolation, I think about your babies as your babies. Nothing less. <3 I'm so glad you're updating again. It can work as an outlet in its own way sometimes. And bless that doctor of yours. You deserve one that will take your words and feelings to heart.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're going to go ahead and get a work-up. I know it's got to be exhausting to keep going through this. Prayers and love your way - let me know if you have any questions or if I can help in any wAy
ReplyDeleteBeautiful Katie, I hope all these test will bring you answers. Your dr sounds so carrying and nice. You are in my thoughts and prayers!
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